BY BRIAN J. LOWNEY, Assistant Editor
PROVIDENCE — Parents need to have a frank and positive discussion with their children about Internet safety and should always be aware of what sites their children visit and who they are chatting with when they go online.
That was the important message delivered April 23 by Hilary Jones, an educator at Day One, a local agency that provides treatment and advocacy for victims of sexual abuse. Jones’ talk, “My Space is Your Space: Internet and IRL?Safety and Prevention OMG?LOL” highlighted the importance for parents to know what information their children are sharing on public web sites – data that could be used by a potential sexual predator to groom an unsuspecting child.
Jones presented the talk at Day One headquarters to a gathering of advocates, social workers and community educators.
She emphasized that sexual abuse is more than touching, and includes sexually explicit e-mail, notes and letters that may be passed in school, pictures sent electronically, comments and threats.
“One in four girls and one in six boys experience sexual assault before the age of 18,” Jones said, adding that most victims know their attacker.
She noted that in a 2003 Youth Internet Safety Survey, one in five teens said they have received unsolicited sexual attention on the web. The survey reported, however, that only three percent of the youths interviewed received an aggressive solicitation, where someone actually asked to meet, engaged in a telephone conversation or sent a gift. Approximately half of these solicitations were from other teens.
Jones also cited a 2004 study that examined 129 cases of Internet-initiated sex crimes and found that the victims were predominately 13-15 year-old girls who met adult offenders (76 percent over age 25) in Internet chat rooms. Most of the victims met and had sexual relations with the adults more than once, and half of the victims were described as being in love with or feeling a close bond with the perpetrator.
“Offenders used violence in five percent of the episodes,” Jones stated, noting that perpetrators used physical violence when their victims tried to end a relationship.
Jones said many of the victims of Internet relationships were teens who had poor relationships with their parents, including a lack of parental monitoring, or who were lonely or depressed. She added that about 25 percent of the male victims were gay or questioning their sexuality.
“Adults and kids need to practice the same safety precautions as with any other interaction and be aware of possible risk factors in sharing personal information on the Internet,” Jones emphasized, noting that anyone who has access to a computer can access information, which can be copied and permanently stored in personal folders.
Jones said that children as young as fourth and fifth graders are creating personal web pages, and often innocently include personal information such as telephone numbers, last names and street addresses. She added that photos should never include identifying clothing, such as school sweatshirts.
She urges parents to constantly review information on their child’s personal web sites, and to make children aware of the need to be cautious about photos, which can be altered and also used by predators to identify potential victims. Children should never share passwords except with parents, and if they do choose to meet an online friend in person, it should be when accompanied by an adult and in a public location.
The speaker noted that parents should question why their children suddenly change computer screens when they walk into the room, and should also be aware of popular Internet acronyms that are often used in online conversations such as OMG (oh my God), LOL (laughing out loud), PITR (parent in the room) and POS (parent over shoulder).
Jones discussed cyberbullying, which she said is a growing concern. She stated that in a recent study, 25 percent of all the students interviewed reported that they had been cyberbullied.
“Cyber bullies can be anonymous,” she reported, telling the audience that cyberbullies can use different aliases or screen names to cause harm, and with the click of a mouse, can spread hurtful information, false rumors and gossip to hundreds of people in a matter of seconds.
Children should be instructed never to respond to messages or on-line bulletin board postings that are suggestive, obscene, belligerent or harassing.
Jones emphasized that parents should always maintain access to their child’s online account, and randomly check e-mails.
Parents should also find out what computer safeguards are utilized in their child’s school, as well as in their friends’ homes and public library. These are all venues outside of parental supervision where a child could encounter a potential predator.
Jones noted that if a child discloses abuse, they should be told that it is not their fault - it is the perpetrator who is committing the offense.
“Teach children the responsible use of on-line resources,” she said. “There is much more to the on-line experience than chat rooms.”
For more information or to report a case in which someone is threatened, stalked, cyberbullied or assaulted, call Day One at 401-421-4100.
