I saw a t-shirt that read “Moms are Superheroes” and it made me laugh. Regular day-to-day responsibilities, obligations and obstacles, plus the relentless demands of parenthood typically drain most, if not all, of my energy (or should I say power) and leaves me feeling like anything but a superhero.
From an outside perspective, I understand what the t-shirt was referring to. Moms have many jobs; we wear many hats, and it does take superhuman strength to accomplish what many of us must do each day. While the sentiment was nice, the reality is that all the duties and responsibilities that a mother must endure can put an extreme amount of pressure on a woman and can lead to physical, mental and emotional exhaustion.
If it is not properly addressed, this can lead to burnout.
There are methods to help avoid burning out or if you’re already in a pile of ashes, to slowly start to climb out again.
While I need to be better with most of the following recommendations, I believe they work and that all mothers deserve ways to rest and recharge.
1. Prayer. Good news! The fastest way to recharge is to practice daily mental prayer. We read in the Gospels that Our Lord Himself constantly went away to pray (Matthew 14:23) and we should follow His lead. Daily mental prayer used to be the hardest thing for me to do. The evil one wants me to do anything but pray. In fact, it was even hard for me to write this paragraph without my computer glitching, so you know it is an important one.
Two book recommendations are: “Into the Deep: Finding Peace Through Prayer” by Dan Burke and “The Better Part: A Christ-Centered Resource for Personal Prayer” by Father John Bartunek.
2. Sacraments and Adoration. Try to go to Holy Mass during the week, make good confessions regularly and go to Adoration. If you can, do these without little ones in tow. While Jesus said, “let the little children come to me,” remember that in comparison to God, we are His little children too. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t take your children to Mass and Adoration, but I am advising that it is important to sometimes not have any distractions during these sacred moments. Occasionally, let your time with Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament be just you and Him.
3. Gratitude. When I am feeling overwhelmed, I force myself to think of whatever is causing the overwhelming feeling with gratitude. Easier said than done, I know, but it works! For instance, when all my children are talking to me at once, instead of letting the feeling overwhelm me and shut me down, I instead feel it fully and then think back on the days that I prayed for these very, very loud gifts from God and thank Him. Another tip when all your children are talking at once is to tell them that you’re going to give each of them equal turns to talk and receive your full attention. When I do this, my children get more annoyed, as they don’t want to wait, but it teaches them the virtue of patience.
4. Exercise and nutrition. Yes, I am going there. I know it is just something else to add to the to-do list, but exercising, while it may sound counterintuitive, actually boosts energy, improves mood, can reduce a myriad of health problems and is a great way to be a positive role model for children. Eating healthily is important, too. When I fill my tank with good, nutritious foods, my health and mood improve. I try to prioritize protein, good fats, fruits and vegetables and limit my carbs and sugar so that I am not having constant glucose spikes and crashes during the day.
5. Sleep. Glorious, precious sleep. Have you seen the meme online that states you’d like to get all the naps that you didn’t take as a child? While we can’t nap when we’d like and often our little loves wake us up at night, we can try to prioritize the sleep that we do get. I try to limit caffeine several hours before bedtime, make the bedroom as dark as possible, no screen time before bed and wake at the same time each day. Bonus tip: make a quick examination of conscience before bed.
6. Sunshine. I admit that I can be much better at this. Sunshine is so important for healthy Vitamin D levels and it feels great to get outside and breathe in fresh air. Living in the Ocean State affords us plenty of opportunities to take a drive to the beach and spend some time outside, admiring God’s creation.
It is important to also note that sometimes moms need extra help and saying “no, my plate is full” is okay. That may mean ordering take-out, hiring a house-cleaner, using paper plates for a bit or even seeking help from a professional therapist. While these are just some of many tips to avoid burnout, I hope they help.
Christina Frye is a lifelong Rhode Islander, wife, mother and founder of Catholic Mom Rhode Island, www.CatholicMomRI.com.
