The Catechism states that the Sacrament of Marriage is a “covenant, by which a man and woman form with each other an intimate communion of life and love, and has been founded and endowed with its own special laws by the Creator. By its very nature it is ordered to the good of the couple, as well as to the generation and education of children. Christ the Lord raised marriage between the baptized to the dignity of a sacrament.” (CCC, 1660)
Marriage is both unitive and procreative. When a baptized man and a baptized woman are married in the Catholic Church, they are given Christ’s grace which helps to protect the marriage for the result that it is intended: the well-being and holiness of the couple, to have the children that God intends them to have and to educate and care for those children. When both the husband and the wife work together to achieve those purposes, the marriage bond grows even stronger through the graces that God continues to give them.
“Take up my yoke upon you, and learn of me, because I am meek, and humble of heart: and you shall find rest to your souls. For my yoke is sweet and my burden light.” Matthew 11:29-30
Having a Sacramental marriage won’t eliminate burdens, but when Jesus is not only at the center of a marriage but strengthening it, a husband and wife can lean on each other through Christ, use Our Lord as an example and offer up our lives to each other similarly to how Christ offered his life for us at Calvary.
Whenever we can, my husband and I strive to put each other and our marriage first so that we can do our best to remain on the path to holiness, take good care of our children and educate them as best as we can.
Here is an example of putting the other person first: the love language that I prefer to give out is acts of service, whereas the love language that my husband prefers to receive is words of affirmation. While I still do and enjoy doing things for him, I try to emphasize giving praise and supportive and kind words whenever possible. Even though I struggle with this, it means a lot to him, so it is a priority of mine.
Another example is that I buy my own gifts on special occasions. Since he struggles with giving gifts and lacks time, it puts undue stress on him. Plus, it wastes money on things that I don’t really want and he really doesn’t have the time to shop, even if I told him what I would like. Instead, I purchase my own gifts and he just wraps them. This allows me to be prudent about spending, as I only get what I want or need and he doesn’t have to worry about guessing what I’d like or have to buy me anything.
An example of how we put our marriage first is that we try to spend as much time together, just the two of us. While it is hard to spend time alone when you have young children, we attempt to carve out some time each weekend to be alone, even if it is just an hour or so. We also wake up before the children so that we can pray, talk and exercise together and we check in with each other throughout the workday.
“Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.” Matthew 5:7
Unlike our Creator, no marriage is perfect; however, the struggles and stressors that we encounter do not have to derail us from the path to heaven. In fact, it is our crosses that will lead us to holiness. For our family, this means that we apologize when we are in the wrong, try to make it right, go to confession if necessary and forgive each other as God forgives our wrongdoings. We know that each one of us is not perfect and we try to give each other grace.
Since March is dedicated to St. Joseph, I think it is worth mentioning again a fact that I first wrote about in my November 2025 column.
There was a Swiss study conducted in 1994 that found that it is the father’s role that has the biggest influence in determining if children continue going to church as adults.
If a father does not attend Mass regularly, the odds are alarming, with only a 1 in 50 chance that the children will remain in the Church. The study also found that while a mother who attends church influences the children, the father has the greatest impact of all. That is a powerful message to Catholic fathers everywhere and I encourage everyone to read more about the study.
Just as St. Joseph is a favorite saint for many, my husband is the favorite in our home. Our children and I adore him and I am very thankful to God for a husband who continually strives to grow in virtue and lead us all to heaven.
Christina Frye is a lifelong Rhode Islander, wife, mother and founder of Catholic Mom Rhode Island, www.CatholicMomRI.com.
