“When Erika Kirk spoke the words on the man who killed her husband: ‘That man…that young man… I forgive him.’ That moment deeply affected me. I have struggled for over 60 years to forgive the man who killed my dad. I will say those words now as I type: ‘I forgive the man who killed my father.’ Peace be with you all.”
Those are the candid reflections of actor Tim Allen, which were posted on X shortly after he heard the eulogy of Erika Kirk, the wife of murdered conservative activist Charlie Kirk. The eulogy was given at her husband’s memorial service. Allen’s father was killed by a drunk driver in November 1964, when the future actor was only 11 years old. In an interview earlier this year, Allen sadly admitted, “The pain of it never stopped.” It didn’t stop for 6 decades.
Forgiveness is hard, even in the ordinary circumstances of daily life. We are all painfully aware of that by our own personal experience. But it’s especially difficult when the person you are being asked to forgive is guilty of a gross moral evil. And this is what makes Erika Kirk’s act of forgiveness so extraordinary and noteworthy. Her husband was murdered in cold blood. It was not a mistake; it was not an accident. It was a deliberate act of violence and hate. But Erika forgave the murderer anyway. That courageous act inspired Tim Allen (and no doubt many others as well) to extend forgiveness to those who have offended them in their lives.
Erika’s forgiveness was rooted in her strong faith. As she said at her husband’s memorial service: “I forgive him because it was what Christ did, and it is what Charlie would do. The answer to hate is not hate. The answer we know from the Gospel is love.”
Forgiveness is so important to Jesus that when he gave us the Lord’s Prayer it was the one petition he mentioned a second time. In Matthew 6:14-15, after giving us the Our Father, our Lord says: “If you forgive others their transgressions, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your transgressions.”
If we need some added incentive to work at forgiving others who have offended us, that additional incentive can be found not only in Christian sources, but it can also be found in the secular world, where the power and value of forgiveness has been increasingly recognized in recent years. For example, there’s currently an article on the website of the Mayo Clinic (“Forgiveness: Letting go of grudges and bitterness,” by the Clinic Staff) which lists the following potential benefits of forgiveness: healthier relationships; improved mental health; less anxiety, stress and hostility; fewer symptoms of depression; lower blood pressure; a stronger immune system; improved heart health; and improved self-esteem.
One other benefit could be added to that list: our act of forgiveness might end up inspiring someone else to forgive—someone who’s been weighed down by anger and unforgiveness for far too long.
Like Erika Kirk’s forgiveness inspired Tim Allen.
